I have to be careful that this Dollmare review doesn’t become a Switch 2 review, but I am so incredibly disappointed with the device that I need to have a moan, then get back on track. The thought is there, let’s see if we can connect.
First of all, getting the Switch 2 on the release date was pointless. Aside from Mario Kart World, A-list games such as Cyberpunk 2077 for £69.99 when I paid £49.99 5 years ago seem ridiculous, and there are no decent third-party games so far. To top that, I found a scratch on the screen and realised that Nintendo is one of the few to install a basic one like so many others do. Pfft.
Now, to link this moan in with the Dollmare review, I have to mention the visuals. A review code was kindly supplied by Feardemic (Bad Cheese) for the Switch, which naturally runs on the Switch 2. However, I don’t know if it’s a technical thing or not, but there are numerous artefacts on the visuals that affect gameplay.
In the game, you start a job in an ominous toy factory named Sweet Cheeks. Thankfully(?) it’s not that type of toy. Instead, you work in solitude in inspecting creepy dolls for defects. If they’re ok, put them on the conveyor belt for distribution, though if there are any imperfections, they burn in Hell, a.k.a. the furnace.
How do we know they’re defects? Visual imperfections. These tend to be quite obvious with missing limbs or evident damage, through to some very subtle symmetry. My beef came with the way the doll’s hair is applied, as either the textures or lighting would indicate the skull was damaged, prompting a disgruntled employer to ask why I was binning good products. Whether it’s the actual game or the technicalities, I don’t know, but I need another reason to validate my distaste for the Switch 2.
Because this is a Feardemic title, it has a horror thing, though it isn’t about scaring the crap out of you with monsters or jump scares. Instead, it brings in that scary reality of consumerism and buying a Switch 2 when there was nothing wrong with its predecessor, and Steam is my preferred platform these days. Noticing a pattern here/
But we (I) can’t blame Nintendo for Dollmare, right? The story is run-of-the-mill with its mysterious AI employer directing you through your not-so-complicated duties. There’s an initial reference to your predecessor – not because they were so much better and Employee of the Month, but perhaps a little foreshadowing to those notes you’ve been locating. And, what’s with keeping all the doors closed? Did this thing just wink at me?
However, all Child’s Play elements stop there, as Dollmare is more about creating a presence based on your own connections than the literal ones. Fine for me – I’m a wuss with horror videogames, but love the movie genre. This was more like Dreamcore in its absence creating presence, and while a short game, there’s not that much to offer despite an alternative ending. Still, better than playing with dolls.
