Curse Rounds is a horrible, horrible game. Before you think you’ve Platinum’d this review and speed run it, that doesn’t mean it’s a game you shouldn’t play, more so that the developers, Tentacles Interactive, are a spiteful bunch that want their players to suffer from the get-go, albeit in a completely random manner from the last. QUBYTE Interactive (Music Drive and Beat ‘em Up Collection) caught wind of this and are the publisher on the Nintendo Switch.
What attracted me to covering this game was the black and white aesthetics and title card illustrations. Yes, I judged the book from its cover and read little about the content of the game, going in fresh and without expectations. Immediately, the game throws you into the action, and the first impressions of this animated chaos weren’t as good as the screenshots. It looked sloppy, assets were all over the place, and the presentation was passable as a ZX Spectrum game. Then, I died, and a title card appeared with one of those beautiful, greyscale illustrations. I’ll take it.
Death is frequent in Curse Rounds as it’s a rogue-like with more than enough curve balls. You play a monochrome Bulb Boy type that has to fend off nasties using a torch. Not that this is a stealth-like experience or hunt a Pokémon in the style of Fatal Frame/Project Zero, as it’s sort of a twin-stick bullet hell. The only reason I know it’s a torch is because one of the very rare upgrades mentions improving your torch. Y’see, there’s nada in the way of narrative or hand-holding. Instead, you’re going to be provided with a choice of curses at the start of every room.
Curses are pulled from a deck of cards and span about 60-odd options, though there are definitely some that appear more than others. You’re given the option of being punched in the face or kicked in the balls, or sometimes punched or kicked in the balls. Which is best? Perhaps you have a preference; either way, you’ll be at a disadvantage. In game terms, those debuffs might be a decrease in your dash ability, enemies immediately respawning after you kill them, enemies duplicating on first contact, or perhaps having the stage rain constantly or preventing you from shooting for the first five seconds of every round?
Curse Rounds is therefore pretty mental and seemingly unforgiving. At the end of each run of destroying reproducing rodents, charging alligators, or seemingly endless maggots, a washing machine drops in the centre of the screen similar to The Crackpet Show, and you’ll get a permanent buff for that run, such as damage or speed. After a few of these runs, you will then encounter a boss (cue lovely illustrations) and surprisingly, these are fairly easy to beat, provided you keep moving and ignore all the enemies it spawns. Upon killing the boss, you then have to kill all the other enemies before proceeding, occasionally to a replenishment of health or a boost, such as a shield for the next room.
As this review was conducted on a Nintendo Switch 2, there are no bragging trophies, but there is a dedicated achievements page. Despite reservations that the game was unfair and might not have had ‘The Rogue-Like Loop’, it doesn’t take long to fill these up and prompt the monologue, “Just one more go”. This gives the illusion that you’re actually pretty decent at the game, then you start a new run, only to be dealt a card that takes away health, and enemies gradually regenerate health. On top of that, you’re moving at a slower speed, and it looks like that alligator’s about to charge you again. Looks like it’s time for another run…
