I was not expecting Neopets Mega Mini Games Collection: The Neopian Arcade Odyssey to be something I’d play longer than 2 minutes, but 3 minutes later, I was still playing and reasonably surprised with the variety in this low-key indie. However, a quick word of warning: not being able to remember the full title, I hopped onto Steam to jot it down, only to be blasted with a bold, red ‘Negative’ review rating for the game.
It appears that Neopets is a much-loved IP. I’ve never heard of it. I know that Pikachu fella and what 6, 7 is/was, but I never stumbled across this, so I came into the moody party neutral. The other thing is, I received a review code before the game was due to release, but it was locked until the release date. I reached out to No Gravity Games/Sidewalk Games and heard nothing, so I have smashed through this in the past 48 hours and seen enough to compile these words.
I am neither a fan of Neopets nor am I tasked with giving any paid/fake reviews. Despite the radio silence from the devs/publishers, I liked it somewhat. It’s not worth the asking price, however.
Ok, to put into context my honest assessment, the story in Neopets Mega Mini Games Collection bored me to tears. It was incoherent; the characters, though looking the part, offered no connection to a noob, and the visual novel-like dialogues between them were a free-for-all where everyone had something to say, but equally had nothing to actually say. Suffice to say, I skipped through the story and could have cared less. As for the gameplay? That’s what I enjoyed.
Neopets Mega Mini Games Collection, as seen in the title, is a collection of mini games that wouldn’t look out of place on a Flash-enabled website of the late 90s/early 00s. The games are cheap and cheerful QTEs or thereabouts, that would fill any free mobile game, plus their 70% advert interruption. Fortunately, there are no ads here. Like WarioWare, or that duck game I reviewed, there are a multitude of games to play that offer a wealth of variety, but aren’t always intuitive.
The controls will show up on the title screen of a game, and in all cases, there are instructions available, but like the narrative, it’s mostly wordy for the sake of it and sometimes better to jump in headfirst and work it out. I couldn’t tell you how many games are up for grabs – actually, I can: 26 – and you’re undoubtedly going to have your favourites. It does seem like more than 26, though, as there’s always a fair amount to choose from. Just be mindful that these are probably best suited to fans of the series, younger players, and those who prefer a pick-up-and-play arcade experience.
Having dyscalculia, numbers bother me, but I found that the number/symbol-based games were some of my favourites and spent an unhealthy amount of time playing round after round and getting surprisingly good scores. Admittedly, my head and eyes hurt from this, and I had to bail after a while. Whether or not my scores are held in high regard is more of a personal thing, as the leaderboards in the game require you to have a Neopet account. Again, new to the IP and not remotely interested, so it’s minigames only for me.
While Neopets Mega Mini Games Collection is a casual experience, you are forced to go through the story mode to unlock the available games. Again, I actually skipped the dialogue, but having to repeat games to unlock new ones – especially when you have to reach a score/time/level in one you might not particularly enjoy is frustrating. As I have repeatedly said, I’ve never heard of it, so come into this fresh and have to say, with the exception of the shoddy story and stumbling to earn new games, it’s good enough.
Arguably, you could probably play this sort of thing for free online, or some ad-riddled mobile game. It’s quite a hefty asking price considering the type of games and the quantity, but if you have some nostalgia for Neopets, have an abundance of funds in your Bitcoin pot, and you don’t mind pushing through the story to access all the content, then maybe – maybe, it’s for you. I played entirely on the Steam Deck, and both my 9-year-old and I were entertained enough. But now the review is done, will I go back to it? No.
