God, aren’t the Gods hard work? Quantum Witch isn’t a game about magic – oh, wait… it is. It’s a narrative-driven platformer, or as the kids in the street are calling it, plotformer.
You play as Ren, an innocent wannabe adventurer with an almighty itch that isn’t psoriasis but a desire for answers. Not because they demand it or have a sense of entitlement, but instead, their inquisitive nature has them asking questions about God, life, and where all the biscuits are.
Quantum Witch identifies as an LGBTQ+ title, so there’s a chance I’ll be crucified for any unintentional misgendering and improper pronoun usage. If you see a ‘she’ or ‘her’ here and there, apologies for any offence. However, for anyone outside the community, don’t think this isn’t for you, as it’s about humanity. Or lack of it.
Quantum Witch Review
I’d originally written a 1000-word review placing the developer, Nikki Jay, on a pedestal, spewing hyperbole about how I was invested in them, having read a couple of interviews and press releases about what influenced this tale. While that remains unchanged after a couple of playthroughs, I decided to refine it.
Nikki grew up in a strict, religious sect, more or less a cult, and escaped their control. The events and ideals were ludicrous, but a very real experience embedded within the story. Quantum Witch has the scope to be a very dark, poignant tale, and though I was prepared for that, it’s more absurd, nostalgic, and often hilarious, with its witty writing and geeky in-jokes.
Ren is satisfied with their life, has a heroic partner named Tyra who keeps them safe, and lives within a loving (maybe a little too much) community that’s all so… quaint, except the Shade religious group. They’re definitely not a cult. While on a side quest, Ren pulls at a thread and then encounters an existential crisis that takes her down the path of multiple endings-ville.
Breaking Through Walls
Up until this point, Quantum Witch was charming, with its pixel art graphics and delightful music throughout – easily on par with Animal Crossing or Stardew Valley. However, I hit a wall. This glosses over the fact that it didn’t work on my Steam Deck and would get stuck in a download loop. The biggest issue was not knowing what to do.
An ominous dancing skeleton claims to understand time and, therefore, provide hints when you get stuck, but they didn’t do anything to direct me when I got stuck for a good 20-30 minutes. In short, Ren learns a set of useless combat skills, and you need to use these immediately to gain access to a new area. This, I missed. However, once overcoming this very literal obstacle, gameplay returned, and it was such an enjoyable experience.
What’s striking about Quantum Witch, other than earlier comments, is the storytelling. The platforming elements and ‘combat’ are secondary and, as a result, direct all the focus to the dialogue and occasional choices with the quirky, oh-so-powerful inhabitants. After the first run, I went back in, sped through a few of the setups, and then opened a new arc that unlocked alternate paths, dialogues, and amusing set pieces.
Community-Based
The developer’s gaming heritage is evident, not just through the interviews given to folk at The Guardian and talking about the titles that influenced them, Teletext, or whatnot, but through execution, too. As a fellow gamer of the Spectrum era, Nikki has managed to give a smug nod at the games we used to play but has also carved out a memorable IP for a new era.
In my experience, LGBTQ+ labels can sometimes be alienating, as if targeted solely for that audience. Quantum Witch is not; it’s just an element of the storytelling and a community that the developer belongs to. I’m making that assumption based on one of the interviews where they refer to themself as a ‘massive lesbian’. Ren is an absolute charmer, and anyone with a personality will initially fall for their naivety and then chuckle at their sassiness.
And that’s one of the reasons you’ll come back. Quantum Witch is relatively short but extended through repeat playthroughs and applying a mechanic to manipulate time so you see all the stuff. Although it’s upbeat, important messages are conveyed throughout, yet intelligently written so as not to be overly noticeable. Plus there’s big, gay rainbows to make everything peachy.
Quantum Witch Review Summary
With the potential for a heavy, somewhat preachy tale about the dangers of cults, this ultimately becomes a memorable, jolly story where choices matter. Come for the charm, wit, infectious tunes or ribs; Quantum Witch is a delightful pixel art adventure that’s a highlight of 2025.
