Without any formal greetings, washing of hands or breaking of bread, I’m going right in with it: what are Nintendo playing at? I’m neither a fan boy nor anti, having had all their systems since the SNES and acquiring a NES (gonna sell it soon) during the ‘collection years’. However, the experience with the Switch 2 has been abysmal, so much so that I will often spit on the floor when mentioning the name.
Why the beef? Nintendo have done things its way for years, and if you don’t like it, you don’t have to buy into the ecosystem. But, a new toy on the horizon, and thinking on how many titles have brought joy in the Switch’s first iteration, I thought it’d make sense to get the new one on launch. This has never been beneficial to get a launch console as besides bragging rights, and I’m not the type.
Anyhoo, with prices for new games being through the roof, I settled with Mario Kart World as part of the digital boxset. Yeah, it’s alright, but much of the same game with a few spits and polish. Cyberpunk 2077 for £70? No thanks. I bought that for £50 on launch for the PC and have an additional version for the PS5 courtesy of my PS+ subscription. What else is there?
Well, Donkey Kong Bananza, despite the glowing testimonials, is too hectic for me and doesn’t appeal. Regurgitated first-party games like Kirby Air Riders aren’t worth it either. Having sold my Game Cube and games last year, the online feature looked great, but to access it, I needed to upgrade my online membership to yet another tier. Unlike Sony, you don’t pay the difference; you cancel your existing membership and fork out for a new one. Besides my eldest wanting access to Animal Crossing, I have zero need for it other than both children playing Fortnite now and again.
However, since getting the Switch 2 on launch, none of us play it. The dock wasn’t even connected, so when picking it up on the off chance and realised it was dead, couldn’t be bothered with it. Wishlist titles were marginally reduced over the Christmas period, though they were all Switch games and far cheaper/superior on Steam. Any discount on Nintendo games? Of course not.
Then comes the Virtual Game Cards. Genuinely owning over 800+ games, I now see that I have 573 games for some reason. Not the type to catalogue their titles on a spreadsheet, I have no idea which ones have been omitted. Did they remove demos? Have the licences been revoked? Are they not compatible with the Switch 2? Frustrating, yet I don’t seem to care so much. Not being able to play Fortnite with my girls on a Switch 2, Switch, and Switch Lite was ridiculous as the games were getting locked. Instead, we played on PC and the PS5.
My eldest then wants to play Stardew Valley, so I ‘loan’ it to get via Virtual and told her she can’t do it as she’s paired to the Switch and not the Switch 2. So, yesterday, I spent HOURS trying to back up save data, transfer users, create and link accounts so that we could exclusively use the Switch 2 and Lite only. My youngest was going to have the Switch, but as she only plays Roblox on the iPad now, it makes sense to flog it.
While I’m not seething, I’m fed up with Nintendo’s approach to users. Trying to navigate around how to link, add, transfer and migrate users was much easier via something like Drupal. Looking at forums such as Reddit indicates that so many people are in the same boat, and considering Nintendo is supposed to be family-friendly and accessible, I’m massively disappointed. At one point, I almost linked my daughter’s account to mine, losing all my games, and not clear that that was what would happen. Fortunately, my gut instinct was right. Or perhaps Spidey Senses? Hopeful…
Anyway, I managed to migrate the eldest to the Switch 2, removed everyone’s account following that, and am getting ready to factory reset and flip the Switch. Just as I’m about to do this, I’m told I need to log into my youngest child’s account and informed that the user does not exist. Quite honestly, I’m done with Switch 2 at this moment in time and really don’t know how it’ll be salvaged. The Switch was superb and an essential device for indie titles. Without the eShop, I’d never have played it.
Now, 6 months(?) on, I haven’t bought a single game nor interested in any, including FromSoftware’s latest, nor do I want to pay extra for an upscaled version of BOTW. The joy-cons are as iffy as the first one, the screen scratches to buggery and affects your warranty if you remove it, and the dock is flimsy and scratches the screen. Absolute shite. Valve are currently making waves, and with the beauty of the Steam Deck and its levels of customisation, I don’t really need anything else. And, having discovered Apollo and Moonlight, could even do without the Deck, too.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted a rant about something, as nobody is interested unless it’ll change their life. The above is far from a scoop, and perhaps you have the same mindset of wondering why you dropped your trollies for Nintendo. Or maybe you’re the opposite and have plumber’s sausage in your mouth and see this as a bashing. Not for the sake of it, but based on the shitheel experience.
I feel marginally better now.
