Struggling to read more than one sentence before breaking into a sweat and heading to TikTok for a TLDR, ASMR conclusion whether Teeto is any good? Let me save that trip to the toilet and three hours plus of doom scrolling and tell you this is fab and quite possibly a must for 3D platform fans. Damn. I said about reading more than one sentence didn’t I? They’ve already left. For everyone else that’s tagging along, thanks for visiting.
When the 90s mould for quality platforming action was cast aside by the likes of Banjo Kazooie and maybe even Ty The Tasmanian Tiger, Eat Pant Games went dumpster diving and managing to pick it up and have successfully delivered a tried and tested 3D platformer (with quirky camera angles and all). Now the game has been out for weeks and I’m joining the party late (apologies: on hols in Japan and the internet has been rough in the hills), you may be familiar with how well this fits the 90s vibe. Yes, it does, but I’ll go one extra, with a somewhat absurd comparison: Hell Pie, but clean.
Yes, that is an absurd conclusion, but I always said that the latter was an excellent game. Teeto is like that, but much more wholesome, family-friendly wit that’ll appeal to the kids and their cynical parents that might get a reference or two. It’s highly unlikely that anyone else will compare the two as they are very different – not just the cleanliness, but also the mechanics. Y’see, Teeto is a shapeshifter and has mighty morphin’ powers that allow them to transform into inanimate objects, extracting an associated trait to do some really cool stuff, but also just for the fun of it. But first…
How did we get here in the first place? The humans are gone (hooray!) and inanimate objects populate the world, finding their feet or what other dangly bits they possess, while navigating some wrong ‘un shadow folks. Wonder bunny, Nory, has somehow created you, a blob they have affectionately named the titular Teeto, with the goal of wiping out the shadows, but also rescuing parts of your predecessor named Michael.
No, we aren’t talking knuckles, toenails and hair follicles, but miniature versions of Michael such as DJ Michael, Politician Michael and Toilet Michael. Ok, some are fabricated, but these collectible Michaels are a huge motivation for exploring the areas, as are the other collectible vionites required to unlock new areas, but also cosmetics for Teeto to look cool when out in the wilderness.
Our blobby hero can smash dodge and double jump, but as alluded to earlier, they can absorb certain items that transform their physical appearance and award a skill of sorts, such as elementals like fire and ice, as a flower that can lasso, or my favourite, a sofa that… throws pillows. All of the variations are incredibly cute and entertaining, and aside from the incentives to explore and unlock new cosmetics and whatnot, it’s fun to find out what Teeto will become next.
Due to a very low demand difficulty, exploration is encouraged and it’s relatively easy to find everything, though does require a bit of investment and repeat plats to achieve this. Because there’s a lack of challenge (not necessarily a bad thing), players are more likely to stick with unlocking everything. Combat is minimalist, but the boss battles can rattle those expecting something completely casual.
With that all in mind, Teeto is a real joy to play and one of the best platformers of 2026. Yes, there are many months left until the end, but I can’t think of anything better platform-wise on the Switch 2 at least. With cute, vibrant visuals and hilarious dialogue and voiceovers, this will appeal to anyone young at heart that misses the old days of 3D platformers without them either being dumbed down, or ruthlessly difficult. Teeto is neither of these.
The controls do take some getting used to for the first hour or so, but once you’ve got that under your belt, it’s a bit of a no-brainer and one you have to add to your list if you like platformers. And yes, I do get that comparing this to Hell Pie is a weird angle, but it made sense in my head. Maybe not so much reading this aloud, however, the skinny? I loved both – crude or not.
