We get it: you’ve been playing video games since the age of x, you have a passion for gaming, your favourite titles are FFVII, Tetris… We don’t care. I fit into that category, but I’ve cringed at the number of bios on the interwebs that all fit this mould, like anyone is different or that it matters. With that in mind, I did own Soccer Kid back on the Amiga, was passionate about my Amiga games, and one of my favourite titles is Tetris. I’m a Gemini, like walks in the park…
Soccer Kid Collection is another timely release featuring a classic curation of Amiga titles like Gobliiins Collection and Street Racer Collection, but the same rule applies here, and they aren’t the Amiga versions but instead the SNES and DOS versions (with title changes – Kid Kleets?!. That intro was somewhat relevant as I’m just a gamer like you with a bit of heritage, though I’m not a historian, so I couldn’t tell you the differences. I can give you an opinion and argue that the Amiga versions were always superior (Xenon 2, Speedball 2, The Chaos Engine, etc, etc…). What I can tell you is that there are two games here, and they are mental.
The first Soccer Kid was released in 1993 – just in time for the 1994 World Cup. However, this isn’t a Sensible Soccer or FIFA Road to the World Cup tie-in but a quirky platformer. Some alien scum had pinched the World Cup and, upon returning to his alien base, damaged it, causing it to split up and scatter across some very stereotypical locations. London is just outside Parliament, where a chap with a bicycle moustache and bowler hat operates. In Japan, they’re all sumo, and I was very much expecting a Frenchman in a beret representing France, saying, “Haw hee haw hee haw”. It was the 90s, this is how it was before feelings.
Soccer Kid was never my go-to game (probably because of how hard it was), so the last time I played it was over 30 years ago. I don’t remember the cutscene or the red telephone box land we call England, nor do I remember this game being dated. Because in 1993, this was innovative. Forget the fact that some kid has just watched intergalactic thievery on the telly, donning his Golden Graham’s sponsored kit (I do remember that!), and setting out to retrieve all shattered parts around the globe, nothing played like this and still doesn’t. Also, where are his parents? How is he funding this operation?
You don’t jump on enemies, punch or kick, but use your ball control to save the day. The football is effectively glued to your foot as you move, but aside from using it as a weapon or tool to reach collectables, you have to adopt an escort approach and protect it from bursting. This means kicking the ball over gaps or calculating where it will land and hoping you can dodge dangers until you reach it. You can continue without the ball, but without any skills or abilities to attack or open collectable chests, it’s all rather pointless. Additionally, being a mere lad, this kid only takes a couple of hits until death. On top of that, despite Soccer Kid Collection being a compilation of two games with additional modern features, it doesn’t exactly help you with the game mechanics.
Soccer Kid Collection is fiddly, frustrating and just generally hard. I personally think that the game has aged well, and despite the unusual backgrounds in the game and their application of perspective, it was quite refreshing and, dare I say, nostalgia-inducing. However, I couldn’t help but get irritable with the ball going off-screen and being lost, popping on some fiendishly placed spikes, or being clipped by some patrolling cyclist, dog, hooligan, or whatever obstacle, preventing me from reaching that goal of retrieving the World Cup. A bit like the England team, only instead of penalties spoiling that hope, it was a football with apparent freewill and the sensitivity of a millennial.
Something prevalent in the world of the Amiga was trainers or cheat codes. Maybe this is why these games feel so challenging these days, as so many of us cheated. QUBytes Interactive surely know this, as there are cheats built-in. Whether that spoils it or not, I’m on the fence. If you pay for a game you can cheat in and complete immediately, that surely ruins the experience, right? However, if you have a pile of games to review and are losing interest due to a rogue football, at least you can see the world. In fact, enabling cheats lets me explore both games, noting the very obvious differences in level design, and allows for a bit of exploration. To appeal to modern audiences, there are also achievements – and bear in mind, Soccer Kid Collection has the usual useless fruit to collect for points, but the collectables – football card sets – are exactly the things we used to collect back in the day. Panini stickers, anyone?
Soccer Kid Collection isn’t a must, but that’s based on the original game, not QUBytes effort. For the latter, they included two good choices, plus the usual array of box art if that’s your thing. Ultimately, I always want to see scanlines as an option and pleased to say it’s here. While this won’t be your companion piece to play along to the World Cup, it is a good slice of nostalgia worth revisiting if you were good at the original. Alternatively, you could always cheat.
