Cyber Rider Review: Flappy Ass
All about a phat ass on a phat bike? Cyber Rider's the one for you.
Don’t lie – you saw that ass and thought the same thing: I should give your mum a call. Ha – snap! Etc, etc… Hand on heart, my analysis of Cyber Rider went: ass, excellent visuals, ooh – pick up and play gameplay, price.
No more thought was given to contacting Meng Games, saying, “Hey, I’d like to review your game”. At this price, and considering this was 100% for me to see whether I still have mad reflex skills (never had them), I snapped it up immediately, along with another of their titles, Rotate To Find The Difference – look out for that later.
This Cyber Rider review is a brief one as the game is too. There’s no point breaking down all the factors of story, presentation and replay value – this is a straightforward, no-frills but all-thrills action racer. Forget about plot, forget about bikes to unlock and skimpy underwear for the rider (I bet it’s really a man) – this is 100% about dodging oncoming traffic, unlocking the trophies along the way.
It’s not a brutal, unachievable title, but at the same time, I wouldn’t say it’s a casual gamer’s paradise unless you want to stare at the flappy ass on offer. Locked into a third-person viewpoint, you steer your rider left and right to avoid being asphalt butter with the oncoming traffic. You can’t move forward or back, just left and right on the keyboard or a controller.
That’s it.
Your cyber rider will head full speed towards a vertical track reminiscent of the map-bending Inception, and you survive, hence the reason for a short review. So what’s it like? Brilliant. Bear in mind the longevity of obtaining the trophies (the top being a 50k score); it’s a fun game to pass the time or when you can’t be bothered with learning combos or tracking down missing people in a fantasy RPG.
Cyber Rider is fast, but not ridiculous. That said, repeatedly playing in either the day or night settings, it gets a bit like when you play Guitar Hero for so long and then start hallucinating. Or is that just me? Initially, it seems easy and repetitive, but the more you play, the more your heart rate increases and holding your breath clenching your ass, but in fear of being a contradiction, it’s not stressful – unless you’re so close to obtaining another trophy.
Don’t worry about the first two trophies where all you need to do is die – they’re easy. Just think whether you’re willing to fork out £1.01 (at the time of writing) for a short game. Really? You’re considering whether this is worth that? Of course, it is.
